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Ageism and Writing: Why to Take Pride in Your Age

ageism and writingI don’t comment on my reviews.

Generally, I’m pleased with how things are going. The last time I checked, my debut book had a pretty good average. Naturally, there are a mixture of opinions out there. Some think the characters are great and really capture that youthful nostalgia, others don’t particularly enjoy the voice of the characters. That’s fine: it’s a taste thing, so I can completely buy that.

I’ve taken my fair share of 5, 4, 3, and 2-star reviews, and pretty much all of them have revolved around a matter of taste and preference rather than content or quality of writing. For that, I’m happy.

However, there are two comments in (otherwise well-argued) reviews that have always stuck with me and probably always will.

They read as follows:

‘Overall, the writer needs to grow up a bit…’

And another:

‘At several times I concluded that the writer was disconnected from reality, then I realised they were young…’

Probably two of the most scathing comments I’ve ever received, and what’s the common theme? Age.

Despite being aware of ageism, I’m very open about my age in my books, on my blog, across social media, etc. In case you don’t know, I’m 21. Yeah — I’m just finishing university and I’m publishing books. If you find that uncomfortable, then don’t read my stuff.

Something else: I’m proud of my age. I’m proud that I’m not just writing for a hobby at 21 but actively going out there investing in editing and cover design, and putting my work on the market.

The notion that age correlates with quality is, quite frankly, absurd. Now, I totally appreciate that writers improve with experience — that’s a given. And sure, people naturally put out more books the older they get. However, by this logic, a first-time novel from a seventy-year old is automatically better than a tenth novel by a twenty-five year old. Right?

Wrong.

That first-time novel might be fantastic. I’d imagine it won’t be quite as fantastic as the writing of someone who has been studying and practising craft for ten years, even if they are half their age. Writing quality isn’t a matter of age — it’s a matter of experience. Well, that, and a whole load of personal preference.

99.99999% of the writing and publishing community are fantastic. I was actually stunned by the lack of ageism between authors when I first started writing. I rather cynically expected at least some ageism, but it just hasn’t worked that way, so thank you for that.

99.99999% of readers, whether they love or loathe my stuff, are also great, and I appreciate every comment. It is interesting how what I believe is reader ageism affects things, though, even if it is in the minority. If I leave something open and ambiguous in a novel, it isn’t because of a desire to provoke debate from the reader but because, ‘oh, he’s young, so it’s wrong, so he’ll learn.’

Think about it: if I decide in my own conscious mind that I’ll break convention somewhat by not hooking up the protagonist and his love interest, refusing to give readers a clichéd ending, it’s not because I’m ‘just young’ — it’s because, as a writer, I’ve decided to make that conscious decision. If you didn’t like it, that’s a taste thing.

But of course, I’m young, so that conscious decision is probably wrong.

This post isn’t a rant, by the way. Like I said, ageism is something I came into the field expecting and I’ve been rather surprised by the lack of it I’ve encountered.

This post is also not not NOT a way of branding all negative commenters as culprits of ageism. If you read my book or anybody’s book and you don’t enjoy it, you’re 10000% entitled to feel that way and express those views, but just do us all a favour and give us legitimate criticism that we can take and work on in future rather than putting it down to age. In my case, sadly, I can’t get old with a click of the fingers.

I can imagine some would suggest to hide my age in my books but the truth is, I’m proud of it. I’m writing and publishing books at 21. Yes, 21. If you can’t deal with that, then I apologise, but I’ve got another book to work on and more experience to gain.

Have you ever encountered ageism in writing? 

Image courtesy of MC Speedy via Flickr

Indies Forward: Anxiety & Overcoming Life’s Obstacles

indies-forwardYou might remember a few weeks back I spoke about author Julie Forward DeMay, and how I was planning to dedicate a blog post to her on January 31st as part of SelfPublishingTeam’s ‘Indies Forward’ event.

The premise of the event is simple: What if you couldn’t promote your own book?

Julie Forward DeMay, a mother with a lifelong passion for writing, finally realised her dream when her book, Cell War Notebooks, was released in 2011.

Tragically, Julie was never able to promote or enjoy the success of her book, because it was published by her mother two years after she passed away with cervical cancer, leaving behind a nine-year-old daughter, Luka, and a husband.

Cancer is a cruel disease. I remember when I was younger, seeing those adverts where they claim that one in three people are touched by it in one way or another, and thinking, ‘Yeah, but that doesn’t mean me, right?’

But life is cruel sometimes. My auntie passed away with pancreatic cancer over the Christmas holidays. She always seemed bright and full of life, even a matter of weeks before her diagnosis, so the speed at which the disease moves is truly shocking at times.

Back to the premise: the organisers of this Indies Forward ‘blog-a-thon’ over at Duolit suggested each participating blogger posted about a time in life where we were inspired to overcome an obstacle. I want to talk about something that I don’t like talking about a lot, to anyone: anxiety.

What is anxiety?

Bit of a stupid and loose sounding question, I know, but anxiety seems to have a load of definitions. To some, it’s a sense of dread. To others, it’s butterflies in the stomach in social environments and the like. But I read loads and loads of definitions and nothing seemed to help when I suspected I was suffering from a bout of anxiety back in 2011.

Damn, this is going to be a tough post to write. I’ll give you a bit of context: in the summer of 2011, I finished my first year at university. First year was great — I made loads of friends, had a whole host of new experiences. It helped that by nature, I was confident and extroverted. I could pretty much talk to anyone, or deliver a presentation in a room of 10 or 10,000 — it really didn’t matter to me.

But something happened at the start of my three month summer holiday.

I started to gradually become wary of everyday processes. It started with, say, taking a trip to the supermarket, whereby I’d put it off because it wasn’t entirely necessary. Then eventually, it grew to other aspects of life. Visiting town with friends. Going to parties. I didn’t quite get as far as becoming a recluse, but I’d say if I wasn’t as strong-headed as I am, I’d probably have got close.

Some days, I just wanted to lie in bed and hide from the world. I’d wake up with a sense of dread about… well, absolutely nothing at all. In hindsight, I know exactly what caused it — in returning home from a long stint at university, I lost my everyday routine. By slipping into a mindset whereby I’d put off events like social gatherings and trips to the shops, I grew more wary of the routines.

Why? I think it’s because at university, you have to do these things to live. You have to go to the shops because you have to eat. You have to go to lectures and seminars and live with friends, therefore interacting becomes a part of life. In hindsight, I know exactly what brought on this bout of mild anxiety — a loss of everyday routine, therefore a confusion of purpose.

How did I overcome this obstacle?

In August of 2011, I decided enough was enough. I’d wanted to write a novel all my life, but that month, I decided it was time. Initially, I felt resistance. My inner critic whispered down my ear, ‘You can’t do it because you don’t feel up to it.’

But I ignored it and wrote through it.

I know these epiphany moments sound cliché and cheesy, but something definitely switched in my mindset the moment I started writing. I had something to look forward to every day. A routine. And that’s when I realised that it was a lack of routine that caused my problem that summer.

What happened next?

This post is getting rather lengthy, so I’ll cut the next chapter short: I kept on writing. I started to grow more confident in my abilities. I talked to people about my writing. I returned to university. Things just got better and better and better. I kept on working away on my book.

I released that book in December 2012. It’s What We Saw.

I won’t lie though: some days I still wake up and think, ‘damn, I’d rather not go out today,’ or ‘I’m not sure I have it in me to write anything.’

But instead of getting all het up and trying to resist these feelings, I embrace and accept them. ‘These feelings are okay because I’ve seen how great things get. Today is just an off day.’

Usually, when I’ve accepted this, ‘today’ usually ends up a pretty good day regardless. The mind is a cruel thing sometimes, and indeed very powerful. Instead of fighting a losing battle with it, accept what it has to say, and move on.

Of course, the same cannot be said about a physical battle such as cancer. Nature is even crueller than the mind in that it always has its way. But the point I’m trying to put across is that it’s so important to keep a sense of routine in order to keep our mind healthy. Julie will have found her memoirs a great comfort to her whilst battling with cancer; a way of keeping the fragile mind healthy, regardless of what was going on inside her.

I know this sounds a bit ‘me me me’, but the story of Julie Forward DeMay has made me realise how lucky I am to be able to celebrate the launch of my book, and made me appreciate my own life more.

Conclusion

I hope you have found this post enlightening. I realise it’s a bit stream-of-consciousness, but I’m not entirely comfortable talking about things like this in a linear, structured way. I guess we all have our ways of dealing with things.

‘How’s today,’ I hear you ask? Today’s good. In fact, my life’s been pretty close to perfect since the start of 2012. Summer 2012 was nothing like summer 2011, something I was concerned about. I set up my blog, gave myself a routine, and enjoyed some really happy and productive months.

But if an off-day does crop up, I accept it, and I move on. Life’s too short to worry about things. Instead of aspiring to do something, embrace your dreams and act on them. Julie always wanted to publish a book. It’s just so tragic that it couldn’t have been a more positive release of which she was able to celebrate the success.

In memory of Julie Forward DeMay and the Indies Forward movement, instead of saying, ‘I will do this,’ today, do that thing you’ve wanted to do but have put off for weeks or months. Life is cruel and unpredictable, but it’s also beautiful. Make it count.

Have you ever been affected by an obstacle in life? Does writing help you battle this obstacle? 

Cell War Notebooks is available to purchase from Amazon.com for $11.65. All proceeds go to Julie’s nine year old daughter.

2012 in Review: Best Albums of 2012

albums of 2012True fact — I wrote an albums of 2012 post last week but stupidly lost it. Thanks, WordPress autosave. Thanks a bunch.

Anyway… those who have followed my writing journey from its origins will be aware that in a previous life, I was a music blogger. I wrote for a few websites as well as a portfolio of my own, and I loved doing what I did. However, as the creative writing and blogging became more serious, I found it difficult to juggle responsibilities, so was forced to cut my music blogging short, at least for the time being.

The passion for music has certainly not died though. How could it? 2012 has been a sensational year for music. I usually struggle with these best albums lists, but the battle for the top spot this year has been something else entirely. The fury-infused experimental hip-hop of Death Grips; the two-hour soundscape-drenched synth-pop of Chromatics; the Lennon-esque riffs of Tame Impala… 2012 has been a headache, but the best sort of headache.

I’m well aware that this is a book blog, but as music is such a big part of my life, I find it hard to ignore. Also, I love lists. Bloody love them.

So, without no further ado, my list of the twenty best albums of 2012, in reverse order. No skipping to number one.

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Five Writing Lessons I Learned in 2012

writing lessonsAs I noted the other day, 2012 has been a pretty big year for me. I’ve not only finished a book, but had it edited, had a nice cover designed, published it myself, and sold copies. That’s, like, a few dreams in one.

But 2012 has not been a year without writing lessons. And I’m not talking school lessons — although I do study at university and enjoy my degree, as it were. I’m talking about Writing Lessons with a capital ‘W’ and ‘L’. Those big life-changing flashes of light. Y’know, the ‘and the moral of the story is…’ type of lesson. Lessons that aren’t necessarily taught (as helpful and beneficial to my writing as those writing lessons are) but learned through experience. Yeah, 2012 has been pretty jam-packed with such experiences. A week, or day, rarely goes by without learning some new trick or finding a new method that I enjoy. That’s the beauty of the game — we’re always learning, always adapting. So, without further ado, five writing lessons I learned in 2012…

1. I CAN finish writing a book.

Writing a book has been a lifelong dream of mine, but before this year, it always seemed somewhat out of reach. It was one of those things that I always intended to do, but ‘next year’ or ‘when I’ve finished doing… WHATEVER.’ So, to complete the first draft of What We Saw back in June after starting a couple of years earlier was a great feeling.

Sure, I had some motivational and confidence stumbles along the way, which is probably why it took so long, but now I know I can write a book. That knowledge… I can’t even begin to describe how amazing a feeling it is. Imagine all the confidence in the world rolled up into a big, electric ball and injected inside you to work its way through your innards, and you’ve pretty much got it. Just nowhere near as, um, painful as that sounds.

I had false starts. I had ideas that I thought I wanted to explore, but ditched a few pages in. And I had crises of faith surrounding What We Saw itself. But I shut my inner critic up and wrote through it. I finished a book. Life ambition reached at twenty. Everything from here is a bonus. Of course, the first draft wasn’t perfect, but that leads to the second of the writing lessons I learned in 2012…

2. It’s okay for the first draft to be a bit shit.

Back before writing What We Saw, I kind of thought there was only one way to write — tear my hair out over every minor detail, word-by-word. Finish a page. Read it. Correct the errors. Change my mind about things. Rewrite it. Burn it. Stab it. Rinse, repeat.

But then I started reading a few writing guides and blogs, as well as my Creative Writing classes, and a lot of the advice seemed to lean towards just getting those words down on the page. It’s difficult at first — ignoring the red squiggles underneath words can be torturous — but it definitely accelerates the process and keeps the ideas flowing.

From now on, I try to write my first drafts without much thought on word choice and the like. I have a rough plot-arc outline of where my story is headed so that it doesn’t go off on some crazy tangent, but everything else kind of just writes itself and is a great journey for me too. If the writer can surprise themselves, then imagine how the reader will feel…

So, yes. It’s okay if the first draft messes up names, uses the word ‘bonkers’ around five times per page, and kills then reincarnates a character. All that can be sorted out in the rewrite. Just get those bloody words down and get the story out of your system.

3. I’m not as good a writer as I thought I was.

This isn’t intended to come across as cocky, but I’ve always been rather proud of how I write. Writing is something I’ve always excelled at and always been told I’m good at, so naturally, I kind of started to believe that idea.

But critical feedback and advice, both from fellow colleagues and lecturers at university, has been greatly enriching. Furthermore, structural advice from my editor has highlighted a few common issues with my writing and how to solve them. Things that seem small on the surface, but definitely look more obvious to a passing reader than to myself.

So, while I’ve always been wary of adverbial crush and the like, I’ve learned about comma overuse, about the stricter-than-I-thought rules of past/present tense. These skills are for life, and although I technically learned this lesson in 2012, it’ll be something that I continue learning for the rest of my writing career. Like I say, that’s the beauty of it.

4. Self-publishing is accessible and legitimate!

I’ve told this story a gazillion times already, but when I finished the first draft of What We Saw, I had no intentions of self-publishing it. I still thought self-publishing was, like, a place where the rejected or lacking in quality reside, and although this is true in many cases, I discovered a whole host of writers who were self-publishing and making a respectable living off it. Some writers were even leaving publishers to independently release their novels.

I found out about CreateSpace and about KDP, and all the wonderful opportunities for professional editing and cover design. I probably spent too much time inside the house researching last summer, but it really paid off. The moment I decided to independently publish What We Saw was the moment everything really became clear to me. It was the moment I realised that, shiiiit, this could ACTUALLY happen. No, more like, ‘this is GOING to happen.’

I didn’t submit What We Saw to any publishers but not because I lack faith in the thing, more that I feel self-publishing is the best route for new authors at this moment in time. While a hybrid model of self-publishing and traditional publishing is something I’d be interested in trying in the future (hey, publisher! Look at me! I’m selling pretty well!), I’m happy releasing my work on my own and making a bit of cash from it until that point.

5. I am an author, not a brand

I hear a lot of talk about author branding. In a sense, it’s a good idea — creating this concrete version of yourself for people to trust in, using your social media account to share content based on your brand image, etc etc.

I did this initially but I soon became jaded with it. I used to love Twitter and expressing myself, but now I was basically a ‘useful content four times per day sharer’. Perhaps this gained me more followers and fans, I dunno, but I think it’s important to remember that yes, you are kind of a brand, but you’re an author too.

I like my personality to shine through on Twitter. It’s a pretty cool tool, isn’t it? Offering snapshots of life, balancing that with useful content. So, I think one of the biggest things I learned about social media is to only use it if you enjoy it, truly. Sure — useful link sharing can be good to grab a few followers, but everyone shares so many links these days that it’s practically impossible to sift through them all. Although these links are not technically ‘spam’ (as in sales links, ‘like my page’, etc) I am finding myself switching off to them.

Be social. Be engaging. Be an author. You’ll get fans that way, not just followers.

There we go, my top writing lessons learned in 2012. Really, this list of five barely even scratches the surface of the stuff I’ve learned over the last twelve months. I’ve got a few things to work on in 2013 though. Learn to spell necessary without the help of spellcheck. Learn to discipline and motivate myself better.

Oh, and learn never to trust WordPress’ ‘autosave’ feature in future. I may just have lost a 1,600 word blog post on Wednesday.

What writing lessons have you learned in 2012? Or any lessons for that matter? Has 2012 been a significant year in your career?

What We Saw, Ryan Casey’s debut novel, is now available in paperback and eBook formats. Click here for Amazon.com and here for Amazon UK.

Image courtesy of Vandy CFT via Flickr.

2012 in Review: Top Writing Influencers of 2012

writing influencersI’m a regular reader over at Wise, Ink, and I recently stumbled upon a piece where they suggest ten year-end author blog post ideas. What better than to run with all ten and give them a shot in some sort of Christmas/end-of-year special?

2012 has been the year where things changed for me. Back in June, I had an 85,000 word first draft of What We Saw complete, but I really didn’t know what to do with it. A friend and colleague of mine, Stuart Meczes, had recently independently published his debut novel, The Awakening, to fanfare and acclaim, so I began to do a little digging and research.

By July, I knew that independent publishing, at least in the early stage of my career, was the best way to get my work out there.

Now it’s December, What We Saw is on shelves. It’s receiving good reviews. People are buying it. It’s early days, but if you’d told me I’d be a published author at the end of 2012, I’d have struggled to believe you back in June. These are five people/resources who have made it all possible. Drum roll… my top writing influencers of 2012.

Note: a lot of people have influenced me in 2012. This post is not intended to identify the sole five writing influencers. Instead, read it as a post of those who have dramatically changed my mind/made me see new opportunities, etc. Don’t be offended if you aren’t on the list, basically. I’m grateful for the support of everyone. In no particular order…

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Paid Book Reviews: Where Do You Stand?

book reviewsIt was my intention to write the second part of my ‘Self-Publishing Myths’ series today, but a recent development in the publishing world has forced me to push that back to Monday. John Locke, poster boy of indie success, has admitted that he paid for book reviews, in a move that is becoming increasingly common in the self-publishing world.

I won’t go into the technicalities, as several other bloggers have already done a pretty damn good job of that, but basically, there are websites out there that allow you to purchase paid book reviews for Amazon, or around the web. You can often buy in bulk of twenty or fifty, and these reviews vary in legitimacy and positivity.

While I disagree with purchasing book reviews from a moral standpoint, am I surprised? Not at all.

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Why I Don’t Hate Fifty Shades of Grey

I realise that the following words are not the most popular, but I have a confession to make: I don’t dislike Fifty Shades of Grey quite as much as some people.
No, I haven’t read Fifty Shades of Grey, and no, I don’t really intend to. But, put the literature aside, and E.L. James presents a major shift in the self-publishing landscape.

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The Death of Physical Christmas?

What does the ‘digital age’ mean for physical Christmas? 

happy christmas everybody!

allerleirau via Compfight

An interesting thought struck me recently, whilst downloading yet another eBook, streaming a film, and adding an album to my Spotify playlist. Simultaneously. What happens to Christmas in an age where nothing seems to be physical anymore?

I know it is a very materialistic perspective to have of the Christian festive season, but let’s not be hypocritical here. We all enjoy receiving presents, and giving presents (but mostly receiving). A real cynic would argue that Christmas has become nothing more than a yearly quenching of children’s consumerist impulses. Whether it be socks that take your fancy, or toy dinosaurs, there’s something in it for everyone. And owning material goods = temporary gratification, right?

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Confidence Complex – Why Writers NEED Confidence

The benefits of believing in your ability

It is said that a fire requires oxygen, heat, and fuel, to prompt a chain reaction. Similarly, I believe that such a formula can lead to a good novel manuscript, too. Before you start setting your pages alight, I’ll explain what I mean.

In the year, or so, of writing my first draft, I noticed that things were different this time. I had tried, and failed, to plan novels in the past, for a variety of reasons. Last week, I began to think about what these reasons might be. Could it be a lack of confidence? Doubts in my ability? Or was I simply not enjoying the task at hand? It turns out that it was a bit of all three.

Initially, I decided that my formula for success would be ‘confidence + ability + enjoyment = a good novel manuscript’. It seemed an interesting theory, but I think it would be foolish to dismiss each element as existing in its own vacuum. ‘confidence’ needs a capital ‘C’. Here is a brief rundown of my reasons for each; try to look for a recurring theme…

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